Last week: Day 1 (pessemistic)

Hello,

Well last week is in full swing. People are trying to get as many friends into their leavers books, flashing cameras and reflecting on their time.

I have got a rather full leavers book, and i am adding pictures and stuff too, so i am happy. But writing in leavers books is really depressing, Like Dom's, i was nearly crying:

'Do you remember when *sniff* we were walking *sniff* up hill from the foot *sniff* and you jumped on me and quoted little britain *sniff sniff*

It's not just Dom, it's other people too, Like James. I was writing about the day after he passed his driving test and he took me for a drive and we went 60mph over burnly moors and he was so proud because he'd never been that fast.

I dunno what i am going to write in Nick's, but i know that will probably make me feel nostalgic. Problem is it's proper hard trying to say goodbye to the people that i hope i am going to see again after friday. It's easier writing in people's books that you don't know so well, somehow you are able to write loads and to not feel sad when you do, but writing in people's books that you are really good friends with is super hard, you dunno what to write and how to write it, how to tell them that you think they're great and you hope they stay in touch, how to tell them you'll miss them a painful amount, how to tell them you love them. You drift about for two years and know that they know, but what if they forget and in 30 years can't remember your surname or your face or some of the times you've had, i know i want to get as much information into my enteries to certain people so that when they do read back in the future they can remember me as fully as possible and remember how much they mean to you.

I guess it's hard to tell people that you love them when you know you might not get chance again, although i hope i do, i am not a very optimistic.

I know i am not the most popular person, but i have a few friends i would not like to loose. I feel like everything i do in my life now is just leading to loosing something. Leaving sixth form is one step closer to loosing nick, my shed, my family and everything as i know it in my normal life. From that point on everyone might as well have dropped of the edge of the earth because people don't like me, and don't want to stay in touch.

Maybe i am being paranoid.

That's it, I guess.