Father's day

I was sat there, yesterday, trying to think of what to write in my dad's card.

'You're a great dad' - I felt i was cheating myself to write that.

'Thank you for everything' - When i tried to define what 'everything' was, i came up with two things, giving me a lift to work a few weeks ago, and putting a roof over my head. So that didn't seem to fit either.

'Happy father's day!' - Well, being the melacholic bitch that i can be when someone upsets me i wished him a lot worse than a happy fathers day.

'I love you' - Well, that just wouldn't work.

So, i went with 'From Katie' Which may have sounded cold and with a lot bile but that's how i feel about him at the moment. I don't feel anything to him but cold. I remember being a kid and no matter what happened or no matter how many times he made me cry or made me angry it was ok because he was my dad and he was right. I don't know if it was a good or bad day the day i realised the word parent isn't much other than a word. It doesn't make them perfect people or good people, it doesn't mean they are contracted to care or love their kids, it doesn't mean they have to support them or give them money. Infact in the case of my parents they sit there with a big stick and poke and laugh at me and demand more money. I know they could be a lot worse, don't get me wrong, I know they could be a lot lot lot worse, But they're displeasing enough and i've had enough of it. I am not saying that i never want to see them, i do, they're my parents and are they only ones that have known me all my life, well, i say 'known' i mean the people i have been in the company of my entire life.

I feel bad for writing this blog, i just needed to get some things off my chest. I'm sorry.