Fear

It's 3am. I know i should be in bed, but my mind is too busy to shut down.

I'm excited about university, but extremely scared too.

I got to university in three weeks. In three weeks i won't be lying in the bed, staring at the same old ceiling, the same old posters, feeling close to my friends. I'll be so far away from everyone. Everyone. They're not going to be around the corner. My family, My Friends. I'll be more alone than i feel now, which will be an acheivment.

I've worked it out. I'm going to be a couple of hours away from home, kim, Sara and Rhodesy. 3 hours away from Katie, Another couple for Linzie and James. 50 minutes from Nick, and about 2 from Joanne. I know it's not far. But it's going to be once a month at best for some of them, a lot less for others. It's not just hoping on a bus, handing over £3 and then waiting 20 minutes. Or walking down to the bottom of the hill and jumping in their car. I won't be able to say 'see you later popping to the pub' to my parents, the pub which will be my friends local still, but not mine. I'll be all the way away in wolverhampton, coming back for a few hours every couple of weeks or so.

You know it's amazing how music can change your mood. It was 'raining in baltimore' by counting crows. I was upset and moody, now it's 'Last resort' by papa roach and now i am angry.

Fuck it i am going to bed. I can't be arsed finishing this namby pamby ass nostalgia blog. All you need to know is i feel sucky.

End of.