All i need to know is that i'm something you'll be missing

I am about 80% sure i have used that blog title before, but if i can't say for certain i'm sure you won't remember.

Anyway.

Hello,

So yes, i have been more busy than i have in a while, and now i am taking a minute to chill out because to be honest i don't think i have time for another insane mad crying fit. i hate hate hate this time of year. I hate moving and not knowing what into. I hate being a way from all the people i spend my life with, that make it better. I'm tired of never feeling like i can stop for breath because i am so busy just trying to get to the next stage and there are about a million people ready to tell me to get moving if i ever take that break. I am so exhausted, and i think it's hard enough trying to get better let alone in this stupid fucked up environment. I know going back to uni on sunday will cause arguements between me and my parents and i know i will be poor. I want a job but it's easier said than done. I havn't finished my fucking packing, still. I was in the kitchen doing the dishwasher before and i just broke down, i don't want to leave so i don't know why i am. I mean yeah i have lovely friends there and stuff and i'll love it when i'm back but at the moment i can't think straight cause i feel so bad about it and everything and jsut all the shit that's happened this past year and i've come so far to get out of it and now i am willingly plunging myself back into it.

It's a good job my brother exists otherwise my breakdown/nerveous attack/crying fit in the kitchen would have been a lot longer. Nothing brings you back to earth more than a 7 year old asking you why your crying (except for absolut vodka), let alone why your hugging you knees in the kitchen. How do i even begin to explain that? Suck it up. Move on.

I have started wondering if people who talk on the phone on the bus, especially people who talk loudly, make up what they're talking about to make their lives seem more interesting than mine. Mine's just one long journey of misery and several people seem to have decided to jump ship recently. Kim, well, Kim i don't know. We're talking, but what she said still burned. a lot. and it won't ever be the same. And Jess well, Jess is a fucking knob 'ed. I pretend i don't care we're not talking, i mean we're sisters we've always been so different, and part of me wants to appologise but i know i'm not wrong, so i won't appologise. She said to Oli that she won't talk to me again until i appologise. She'll learn to read before i appologise. Tit.

Ok so what else is there? if you don't see me around for a few days it's because i probably won't have sorted out my internet at uni. So tomorrow i have work, then drinking, then sleeping, then work, then packing with Nick and moving shit to the shed.

OK Gonna go do something usefull, maybe.

Katie x

Ps: Oh great, her majesty is home.